Harry Potter and the Library of Crazy
by Canticles
Summary: 12 years ago, across the Atlantic Ocean, a 17 year old boy defeated the greatest Dark Lord in the history of the Wizarding World. In the present day, none of that matters to Claudia Donovan. After all, she's finally becoming a Warehouse agent. But then Mrs. Frederic tells her that there's something she needs to see...
1. Beginnings, Part 1

_**Beginnings, Part 1**_

* * *

_It was over._

For decades, it seemed, the threat of Voldemort had hung over the Wizarding World like an extremely stubborn cloud. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had cast a pall over Britain's magical population, even in the intervening years of his sudden disappearance. The Calm, short for "the calm before the storm", had soothed the fears of the magicfolk, but his reappearance fifteen years later (fourteen for those that refused to be taken in by the papers) had thrown those selfsame fears into a fever-pitch.

But now? Now, it was over. Harry Potter, the very Boy Who Lived and stopped Voldemort at the height of his power, had finished the Dark Lord and hammered the final nail on his coffin, so to speak. To most observers, Britain's witches and wizards would be forgiven for breaking out into mass celebrations as they had seventeen years hence. And yet, they didn't. Had it not been for a single fact, the fireworks that had appeared across the skies seventeen years ago would have made a repeat appearance. This time, Voldemort had not "died" after visiting a single solitary family home with malicious intent. Instead, the Dark Lord had brought the full weight of his armies to bear upon his formed school. Death Eaters, giants, Dementors, and the like assaulted the venerated stone walls of the castle of Hogwarts. Built to protect aspiring witches and wizards from persecuting Muggles, the old castle had put a valiant effort before the wards fell to the combined might of You-Know-Who and his Dark army. When the castle itself fell, its inhabitants rose to pick up the fallen flag. Students and teachers alike raised wands against foes even mature mages wouldn't dare face. Of course, this bravado had its consequences. Over ten percent of the defenders of Hogwarts now laid strewn across the battlefield, either dead, dying, or grievously injured. These were rosy-eyed children and wizened old seniors that had borne the brunt of the remaining assault, individuals who had the horror of war and battle forced upon either much before their time or much after it could be deemed appropriate.

The casualties at Hogwarts spoke to the wizarding population at large. There were few magical families that didn't have children and all aspiring British witches and wizards were taught at Hogwarts. As the totals came up on the morning after the Battle of Hogwarts, there was not a single witch or wizard in Britain that hadn't lost a son, daughter, brother, sister, cousin, or were close to those who did. The grieving numbered in the thousands and grief leaves very little room for rational thought. Harry Potter knew he wasn't in his right mind, but he simply didn't care. It was finally _over_, but as his eyes raked over the bloody scene of battle, he hardly felt that it was worth the fight. So many had died before he could bring closure. Sirius Black, his godfather. Cedric Diggory, one of his school friends. Amelia Bones, the strict but fair head witch of Wizengamot. Sturgis Podmore, a member of the Order of the Phoenix that he could barely recall. Remus Lupin, a friend of his father's and the closest thing he had to an uncle. Nymphadora Tonks, Remus' then-fiancé. Fred Weasley, George Weasley's twin brother. The list ran on and on and on. Harry could barely keep track of them all before he decided that trying to total up the dead was entirely too morbid and macabre to handle at the moment.

Harry tried turning several things over in his head. What would he do now that Voldemort was dead? Would he go back to school? Would instead apply to be an Auror? Or would he take up professional Quidditch? His shoulders sagged as he realized what he was doing. What right did he have to worry about the future? There were so many that had bet their futures on him and, had he been quick enough, he would've been able to save many more of them than he had. Could he really debate the future knowing he had taken futures away from others? Harry realized that he needed to leave: Hogwarts was simply too much for him right now, both emotionally and physically. He turned on his feet and disappeared with a whisper-like crack.

* * *

Grimmauld Place could never called the most hospitable of homes. Every inch of the house seemed to ooze darkness while filth gathered in the corners despite being tended by a house-elf. Then again, Kreacher always seemed to hold a greater fascination with his old mistress' portrait and the house-elf head corridor than actually keeping Grimmauld Place in an inhabitable condition. The moment he Apparated in, Harry knew he had made a mistake. Grimmauld Place held memories and, much like Hogwarts, those memories were best left covered at this point. He needed to be elsewhere, somewhere faraway from all of this pain. But where? Harry could think of no place in Britain where he could step foot without bringing up some memory or another. He walked upstairs and began to pack what few clothes he had left behind in this dump. As he stuffed yet another one of Dudley's oversized t-shirts into his baggage, Harry drowned in his thoughts. He couldn't stay at Grimmauld Place, that was for sure. Hogwarts was right out. Despite all of his childhood fantasies, Harry just couldn't bear to live at the Burrow for the time being. Between Fred's death, George's cursed ear, and a whole host of grievances he had brought to the Weasley's doorstep, Harry just couldn't bear burdening them with his presence. The list went on and on and Harry countered each idea almost too perfectly. Before long, he had finished packing his clothes and run out of ideas on places to stay. A sudden fit of helplessness overtook him and Harry nearly cursed the closest window before he saw. Beyond the murky glass, there stood a billboard.

_ STRESSED? TIRED OF WORK AND THE DAILY GRIND? TAKE A VACATION OVERSEAS! CONTACT A TRAVEL AGENT AT 020-7853-594_

Harry gave a wan grin. While he was hardly tired of "the daily grind", he could understand perfectly the need to get away. The stress was… Harry's eyes shot up towards the billboard again. His eyes focused on a specific part of the advertisement: "_TAKE A VACATION"_. That's was exactly it. Harry needed to leave the country before he went spare over the stress and guilt. Unfortunately, Grimmauld Place, being a wizarding home, did not have a Muggle telephone so Harry had to lug his baggage down the stairs and across the street to the nearest telephone box. He dialed in the number and then waited patiently.

"Hello, this is the Beech Brothers Travel Agency. How may I help you?" The receptionist's voice seemed bland, she probably recited that line an endless amount of times to the point of stupefaction.

"Yes, I just saw one of your advertisements for an overseas vacation?" Harry shifted in his place, cramped as the telephone box was. What would his friends say if they heard him planning such a spontaneous vacation? He was so caught up in his ruminations that he quite nearly missed the receptionist as she finished,

"… our last package deal is a 10 day, 11 night trip to the United States of America. You will be staying in the Washington, D.C. area. Attractions include…" Harry cut off her off before she could continue. He hadn't had the presence of mind to hear the previous choices and he'd be embarrassed if he had to call again to hear the choices.

"Yes, yes, I'll take the trip to America. I want to leave as soon as possible."

* * *

Harry gripped the armrests of his seat tightly. This had to be some form of irony. If Harry hadn't been intent on becoming an Auror, his talent with flying kept him open for a career in professional Quidditch. Broomsticks were notoriously unsafe compared to other forms of magical transportation. And yet despite being utterly confident and almost reckless when on a flimsy broom, Harry Potter was completely and absolutely terrified of airplane flights. Although if you thought about in a very abstract way, being propelled through the sky on a thin piece of wood was just as terrifying as being trapped in a metal box doing the same exact thing. Yet despite being fearless on a broomstick, capable of maneuvers that would make professional players green with envy, Harry Potter decided that this would be the last time that he would ever ride an airplane.

"It gets easier the second time."

Harry's head jerked to the right. He hadn't noticed that someone had sat down next to him. In fact, given his position, it'd be impossible for someone to get into the seat to his right without giving Harry some kind of notice. The speaker was a lady of seemingly African descent. Her hair was braided and tied up in a bun. Her clothes were of a distinctly business style, a purple jacket over a simple white blouse. She held herself regally and was possessed of a very austere appearance. Harry's startled look must have given her some sort of answer as she continued speaking.

"The first flight is always the most difficult. Your mind and body are not quite ready for the quirks of flight yet. A few more flights and it will be as if you are taking a ride in a car."

Harry had to fight down a snicker as he recalled the Weasley family's flying Ford Anglia. He nodded and slightly loosened his death-grip on the armrests. Harry's hand were still clutched to the chair as if it were a lifeline, but the faintest amount of color had worked its way back into his fingers. Slightly relaxed, Harry let loose a breath that he didn't realize that he was holding. While what his neighbor had said might be true, Harry had no intention of flying on an airplane again. Should he ever feel the need for intercontinental travel, then he'd much prefer trying his luck with Portkeys or even just flying across the Atlantic with a broomstick.

He leaned back into his seat. After all that had happened today, he was dead exhausted. In hindsight, he probably shouldn't have left so quickly. The ashes of war hadn't even cooled before Harry went on his trip to America. His sudden disappearance probably stunned more than a few people, but Harry had had enough of that. Ever since he was born, he had been giving and giving to those who took. Now that the war was over, Harry finally had some time to himself. Just as he closed his eyes to nap, he noticed his neighbor give the smallest of grins.

* * *

He jumped high and flopped onto the bed like so much dead weight. The flight from London to New York City was brutal. 12 hours of nothing but sitting around and waiting had been killer on nerves that were finely-tuned for war. His face in his sheets, Harry let out a muffled groan as he released all the tension from the last couple of years. Gods, he was right in renting a room from one of the more expensive hotels in New York. His bed felt absolutely amazing, as if he was floating in the sky without a care in the world. Harry took in a deep breath, smelling the faint perfume of the room, ready to let to out another earthshaking groan when -

"Comfortable, Mr. Potter?"

Harry shot out of his bed like a rocket, reaching into his robes to grab his wand. He turned to face the source of the voice. As he saw who had spoken, he dropped his wand out of shock.

"Did I surprise you, Mr. Potter?" It was the lady from the plane. She looked just as prim and proper as she had nearly an hour ago when he left the airport. She had looked so normal! Harry was used to wizardingkind that had no clue how to dress as a Muggle. He squatted down, his hand scrabbling for his wand as he stared at the lady, still in shock.

"Who are you? How did you get in here?" Harry raised his wand at the lady, ready to fire off a Stunner at the slightest twitch.

She coughed into her closed hand, "There will be no need for that. I have a job offer for you, Mr. Potter." She nodded towards something behind Harry. A massive figure loomed behind him, a ham-sized fist enclosing around his and forcing his wand arm down. The hulk gestured his other hand towards a nearby armchair. As soon as Harry sat down, the lady continued, "My name is Mrs. Frederic and I am in a unique position to acquire your services. Your skills would be well-suited towards this line of work. Unlike most of our… 'applicants', you retain a right to refuse employment. Do you accept?"

Harry slumped into the chair in shock. Not even a day into his new vacation, he seemed to find himself in yet another emergency of some sort. Talk about a busman's holiday. Regardless, he needed to negotiate. "How do you know I'm suited for this? What kind of job are you offering me?"

Mrs. Frederic gestured to the man behind Harry, who proceeded to hand him a folder. "I am quite confident in my ability to find new employees. Safe to say, you are a perfect match for this job. And as for what I am offering you?" At this point, Mrs. Frederic donned a shark-like grin, an expression that seemed utterly alien for some reason, "I am giving you a ticket to endless wonder."

* * *

Author's Notes:

Huh, my first fiction "published". When I first joined and started writing my first drafts (which were deleted by the hundreds), I never thought that I'd end up with a Harry Potter/Warehouse 13 crossover. I've had so many first chapters written down, only to be trashed. Numerous more story ideas never made it onto (electronic) paper. In any case, on to my notes on the chapter. When this plot bunny popped into my mind, I decided enough was enough. No matter how good or bad this idea was, I'd push it onto soon as I got the first chapter done.

When I first had the idea, I jumped the gun on the timelines. The closest measuring stick I could pull was relative ages. I knew Claudia was in her 20s in 2009 and I knew Harry was 11 years old in 1991, which placed him at 29-ish in 2009. Of course, it completely slipped my mind that Harry defeated Voldemort (for the final time) when he was 17 and I had planned for Harry to join the Warehouse team right after his defeat of Voldemort. I did some fact-checking before publishing and I realized that I was in a bit of a pickle. I had planned for Harry to join up with the Warehouse 13 team right after the Battle of Hogwarts, but I completely forgot that the current Warehouse 13 team hadn't gotten together until around 2009, a full 12 years after Harry defeated Voldemort. Upon hitting that little snag, I realized that I had to change my plans around if I wanted to get this off the ground. Hopefully, I'll continued to be inspired to write this. I'd hate for my first published fiction to become discontinued. Well, knock on wood, eh?

P.S. For those of you who don't understand the title, Claudia dubs the Warehouse as the "Library of Crazy" during one episode, I can't remember which


	2. Beginnings, Part 2

_**Beginnings, Part 2  
**_

* * *

_12 years later…_

The Warehouse team was rather subdued. They had just prevented H.G. Wells from destroying all of human civilization with the Minoan Trident, but it felt like a hollow victory. H.G. had been part of the team for a time and her betrayal had hit all of them hard, Myka most of all. Shortly after their return to the Warehouse, Myka had handed in her resignation and left without a word. Pete had rushed out the door to try to stop her, but —

"I couldn't catch her, Artie." Pete's breath rushed out of him as he stepped back into the Warehouse. "I moved as fast as I could, but she drove off right when I got out the door."

Claudia let out a breath that she didn't know she'd been holding. Myka was the detail-oriented member of the Warehouse duo. Pete had a weird vibes thing going on, but Myka was usually the one that caught the tiny hints. Plus, Myka had actually read the manual. Without Myka, things just didn't feel right. Claudia was certain that they wouldn't be able to retrieve nearly as many Artifacts as they would normally be able to. Pete put his hands on his hips and huffed, seemingly deep in thought. After a short moment, he nodded and turned around to face the door.

"Not so fast, Agent Lattimer."

Everyone gave a start and Pete looked as if he was about to jump through the roof. Three whispers echoed out at once.

"How does she do that?"

Artie, Pete, and Claudia all froze for a split second, realizing that their whispers seemed to carry farther than they thought. They gave each other fleeting glances before snickering furiously. Mrs. Frederic seemed to take this all in stride before she spoke in a serious manner, as usual.

"If we are done here, I have assignments to give out to you." She faced Artie and gave a slight nod. "We have retrieved an artifact from Warehouse 2 that I believe you will find… _interesting_." There was a subtle hint to that last word that was lost on Claudia and, from the looks of it, Pete as well. "Claudia, there is something I wish to discuss with you and Arthur after I have given Agent Lattimer his assignment."

Pete made exaggerated motions as Mrs. Frederic spoke. He scrunched his face up in a noticeable wince and mouthed to Claudia, "You're in trouble~" As soon as Mrs. Frederic turned to him, Pete immediately straightened up and put his arms at his side, looking very much like the boy that got caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

"Agent Lattimer," Claudia swore you could hear the tension in the air as Mrs. Frederic addressed Pete. "as a result of the incident at Warehouse 2 and with former Agent Wells, the Regents believe that it is time for you to… take a break, so to speak."

Pete's face gave an odd look as he questioned, "Am I being fired? Is 'break' a Warehouse word for 'letting you go'?" Pete made exaggerated air-quotes around the word "break".

Mrs. Frederic gave a curt shake of the head, "No, you are being _suggested_ to take some vacation time. Recent events have been stressful and the Regents would prefer that you relieve that stress before you continue your could also use this time to _catch up with your partner_." Mrs. Frederic seemed to stress the last phrase and focused her eyes intently on Pete.

"A-all right," Pete deferred as he backed up, still facing Mrs. Frederic. "I guess I'll take some time off from work. Maybe catch a movie? Or… talk to Myka?" As Mrs. Frederic's fierce stare seemed to relax, Pete immediately started nodding his head and edging towards the door. "Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. I'll go talk to Myka. I mean, the last mission was obviously really stressful and…" The door closed behind Pete as he continued to ramble on.

Mrs. Frederic turned towards Artie and Claudia as soon as the door. "Now, let's have our discussion. Walk with me."

* * *

Despite being slightly shorter than average and wearing high heels, Mrs. Frederic set a fierce pace; Claudia and Artie struggled to keep up with her as they traveled through the Warehouse. Mrs. Frederic seems to have a destination in mind, although Claudia had no clue where she was headed.

"While I have told Agent Lattimer that he is on vacation, that does not mean that Warehouse business stops. Artifacts will still continue to appear as Agents Lattimer and Bering are… _indisposed_. Therefore, I think we shall be moving forward with a plan that we had planned on implementing much later. You have gone out on missions before, haven't you, Claudia?"

Claudia could only give a dull nod and a mumble of "Yes." She wasn't entirely sure she knew where Mrs. Frederic was going with this. Mrs. Frederic only nodded and continued on, "The Regents believe that it is time for you to start your career as a Warehouse Agent. You have shown initiative and not inconsiderable skill. Your field experience with Agents Lattimer and Bering have convinced the Regents that you are ready."

Claudia froze and her lower jaw began moving up and down in a near-perfect imitation of a goldfish. Was this really happening? Ever since she had joined the Warehouse team, Claudia had dreamed about leaving the Warehouse on a mission. Lately, she had been leaving to provide Pete and Myka with more on-site support, but Claudia yearned to go on a mission by herself. Artie, on the hand, did not look so enthused as he performed a double-take as he stared at Mrs. Frederic. Clearly about to protest, he was interrupted by Mrs. Frederic holding up her hand.

"You know she is ready, Arthur."

Her statement only seemed to galvanize Artie. "She's too young! Pete and Myka were Secret Service agents before they were part of the Warehouse! They had training! You can't possibly expect Claudia to fill their shoes by herself, can you?"

Mrs. Frederic didn't even seem to deign to give Artie a response. She continued on at her previous blinding pace without even waiting for Artie or Claudia to follow. As they journeyed through the Warehouse, Claudia noticed that their surroundings were beginning to look very, very familiar. In fact, if Claudia's mental map of the Warehouse was correct, which it usually was, then they were heading for… the Bronze Sector. This didn't look good.

The Bronze Sector was a section of the Warehouse dedicated to the preservation and archiving of a very specific type of Artifact. While most Artifacts were physical possessions that had somehow gained supernatural abilities that easily be used for mass chaos, the type of Artifact held in the Bronze Sector generally weren't capable of anything supernatural, although they could easily destroy the world if released. The Bronze Sector held dangerous people, the so-called "Hitlers and Genghis Khans caught before they could change the world ". Too dangerous to kill, for fear of martyrdom, but far more dangerous to leave alive, the Bronze Sector held the results of a process known as "bronzing", where prisoners were encased within a statue of solid bronze, to held in the Warehouse until the end of time.

No matter what the reason Mrs. Frederic had for going to the Bronze Sector, Claudia knew it wasn't going to be good news.

* * *

They stopped in front of the vault door that separated the vault door from the Bronze Sector. Mrs. Frederic turned to face Artie, her heels clicking against the concrete floor of the Warehouse.

"Arthur, if you would be so kind?" Mrs. Frederic gestured towards the door and Artie rushed forward with a quick nod. After a few turns of the valve, it slid open with a hiss. Mrs. Frederic stepped through the door without a moment of hesitation. The Bronze Sector was actually a fairly small room. It consisted of what seemed to be half of a giant test tube column fused to the opposite wall, the kind you would find in the laboratory of a mad scientist, and a console that was situated next to the aforementioned test tube. Mrs. Frederic stopped before the console and turned to face Artie and Claudia.

"As you know, the Bronze Sector is used to imprison those who should be kept hidden from the world, either because of their potential or because of what they had already wrought." At this, Artie flinched. No doubt he recalled the memory of MacPherson, his former partner who had defected from the Warehouse before wreaking havoc with Artifacts, was bronzed, and then killed. Mrs. Frederic continued on, "However, the Bronze Sector has been used for one other purpose. Arthur, the Artifact that we recovered from Warehouse 2 was the Rod of Asclepius."

Realization visibly dawned on Artie's face while Claudia still remained confused. She raised her hand, haltingly, as if she were a student in a classroom. "Yeah, for those of us who aren't a billion years old, mind if we play a quick game of catch-up?" Mrs. Frederic gave her a sharp glare before continuing.

"For four years after MacPherson… left the Warehouse, Arthur performed solo missions for the Warehouse. As a consequence, he is our best Artifact retrieval expert. However, he started getting closer and closer brushes with death and the Regents realized that Artifact retrieval was really a two-person job at the least. However, potential Warehouse agents are hard to find. The right combination of skills, experience, and outlook is extremely rare. We got lucky when both Pete and Myka qualified. In any case, we found a potential agent in 1998. We brought him to the Warehouse and he became Arthur's second partner.

"They worked well together, perhaps even better than Arthur had with MacPherson. Their retrieval rate has yet to be matched, although Pete and Myka have only been at it for a year. However, after four years, a mission went bad. They were sent to retrieve the strain of the bubonic plague that killed the first victim of the Black Plague. It became so famous that the first strain became an Artifact and was incurable. There was an accident in the retrieval and Arthur's partner was infected. We managed to rush him back to the Warehouse, and we bronzed him before he died."

At this point, Arthur stepped forward and continued where Mrs. Frederic left off. "We couldn't stick him in a vat of neutralizer goo because the Black Plague was _inside_ of him and his body, for all intents and purposes, protected the Artifact from the neutralization. As he was, only another Artifact could cure him. The Rod of Asclepius that was retrieved from Warehouse 2 should cure him."

Mrs. Frederic gave a curt nod and gestured toward the wall behind Claudia. Artie followed her gaze and saw what was apparently the Rod of Asclepius. It was a typical wooden quarterstaff if not for the wooden snake twined around it. He approached it carefully and rather than grasp the staff by its head, he began petting the head of the snake. It began to hiss furiously before winding itself tighter around the rod itself. Artie picked it up and walked past Claudia and Mrs. Frederic and began typing on the console.

Smoke rolled out of the test tube with a loud hiss as the Bronze Sector came to life. Gears whirred and loud clanging could be heard from behind the walls of the Bronze Sector. After several moments, the section of the wall contained within the test tube sprang back before a statue was pushed in mechanically and the wall was sealed behind it.

The statue was of a young man. If he was any more than five years older than her, Claudia swore that she would eat her shoes. His build was thin but not lanky. In fact, he seemed to be feminine in appearance and if not for the distinct flatness of his chest and the definite muscle tone on his arms, Claudia would've sworn that he was actually a tomboyish girl. While color was fairly hard to tell, considering the statue was solid bronze, she noticed that he had ridiculously untidy hair as if he had woken up in the morning just to be bronzed. A pair of thin wire-frame glasses rested on his nose, which was crooked as if it had been broken once.

Artie pressed a button and the test tube began to fill with vapor. A loud hiss and several lights began to shine within the tube before the glass rose up and a body fell out onto the floor. The first thing Claudia noticed was his black hair and bangs that hid what seemed to a tattoo in the shape of a lightning bolt on his forehead. Artie wasted no time and pointed the Rod of Asclepius at the fallen figure. The snake came to life and hissed furiously before lights burst from its open mouth to shine on the fallen figure. After a minute that felt an hour, the lights dimmed and retreated back into the mouth of the snake. Artie dropped the Rod and ran forward to kneel next to the statue-turned-man. He held his ear up against the man's chest and laid his fingers against his neck. Moments later, he spoke.

"He's alive and the Rod of Asclepius should have cleared him of the plague."

Mrs. Frederic nodded and turned to Claudia, who was still staring speechless at the man lying on the ground. "Claudia." Claudia jumped slightly and turned to face Mrs. Frederic. "This is your partner for the foreseeable future. His name is Harry Potter."

* * *

Author's Note:

Wow, I am stunned by the number of favorites and follows I've received for the first chapter. Your reaction has been amazing and I can honestly say that it spurred me to finish the next chapter as quickly as possible. Before I set any expectations, I have to tell you that I will not update this regularly. Honestly, I have to say that I have priorities above writing fan fiction, namely my job and my education. The school year is starting and I will doing my level best to get a part-time job as well. Safe to say, that leaves little time for writing.

On a different note, I had a little trouble writing this chapter. Unlike most of my plot bunnies, none of which I have published, I had actually done very little in-depth research. While I have read all of the Harry Potter series multiple times over and I've watched as much of Warehouse 13 as I can, there were some esoteric details that I didn't remember when I wrote the prologue. Namely, the timeline wasn't concrete in my mind. Luckily, Warehouse 13 gave me tools that I could work with to smooth out the wrinkles that would be caused by a transition from the Potterverse to the Warehouse universe.

One issue was the difference in timelines. According to the HP Lexicon, Harry defeated Voldemort on May 2, 1998. This was 11 years before the start of the Warehouse series proper. If I wanted to partner up Harry and Claudia like the creators did with Pete and Myka, I would need them to be roughly the same age. As Claudia is 19 by the end of Season 1 (she says so in the episode, "MacPherson"), this wouldn't work if time flowed without hiccups. Luckily, Season 2 revealed the existence of the Bronze Sector. Considering that H.G. Wells was preserved by the bronzing process for over 50 odd years, I figured that I could conveniently stop Harry at some point in time to retrieved when I needed him. However, then two issues came up: When should Harry have been bronzed and why? I decided on 2002 for when because that gave Harry a fair amount of time for Warehouse experience but was far back enough that Artie could conceivably have Harry slip from his forefront of his mind.

The why, on the other hand, baffled me for some time. I knew that it had be some life-threatening, otherwise there would be no point in bronzing Harry. However, it couldn't just be a one-off thing. Harry doesn't seem like the type to ask for something like bronzing so he could avoid death. Therefore, whatever would potentially kill him also had to be able to spread. The first thing that popped into my mind was a disease. However, diseases can be cured. Then, I was struck by inspiration. Fame and/or infamy was known to transform mundane objects into Artifacts in the Warehouse universe, one of the possible examples being the guillotine that beheaded Marie Antoinette. And the most famous disease in human history was the Black Plague.

Wow, I wrote a lot for this author's note. Perhaps I should start up a LiveJournal or something so I don't clutter up the meats and bones why you all are here. Until I find a replacement, I'll keep the author's notes here.

P.S. I do not have a beta reader, thus explaining why I probably have a mess of grammar mistakes. If you would like to be a beta reader, go ahead and PM me, if you know someone who would like to be a beta reader, go ahead and have them send a PM as well.

* * *

Artifact List:

**The Black Plague:**

This Artifact is a glass vial of 14th century design. Within it lies a dark-red liquid, blood from the first victim of the European bubonic plague. Unlike every other instance of the bubonic plague, this vial of blood became something special. Over the years that the Black Plague, as it came to be called, cut a bloody path through Europe, the contents of the vial began to mutate. At the end of 14th century, the Black Plague had killed two-thirds of the European population and nearly caused the end of what would become modern civilization. At the same time, the only sample of Patient Zero of the Black Plague became an Artifact.

The Black Plague Artifact possesses several similarities to the original contagion, but it was an entirely different beast. For one, the Artifact can only infect a single victim at a time. Unlike the original Plague, the Artifact only spread upon the death of its current victim. At that point, the Artifact would infect the closest viable host before repeating the process. While the infected would still display original symptoms such as protuberant pustules and bloody vomit, the Artifact kills much faster than the original bubonic plague. At the same time, the Artifact strain of the bubonic plague is incurable by mundane means. Even magic, as it exists in the Potterverse, would be of no avail against the Artifact. As it stands, only an Artifact capable of curing disease would be able to cure the Artifact strain.

**The Rod of Asclepius:**

There are disputes as to who Asclepius was and even whether or not he was even a real person. At any rate, all myths and stories of Asclepius agreed upon one thing: he was the pre-eminent practitioner of medicine in the time of the Ancient Greeks. While some say he was merely gifted and held rigorous studies on the subject of the human body, there were those myths that said he was the son of a deity, specifically Apollo. Stories say that he was so gifted with medicine that he could bring the dead back to life. Some legends say that Hades, the Greek god of the underworld, grew furious at the mortal who would dare encroach upon his territory and steal away souls that were rightfully dead. Apollo, bidden by Hades and his father Zeus, struck his son dead and swept his soul up to Mount Olympus to be named the god of medicine.

Regardless of whether or not he existed, the Rod of Asclepius exists. Its shape is that of a simple wooden quarterstaff, made of oak. A single wooden snake twists around the staff from the base before separating from the body of the staff at around the middle section continuing in its pattern. Those who do not take care and attempt to grab the body of the staff will be bitten by the snake and then die a painful death due to poison. Petting the snake's heads will disable the security and allow for use of the Artifact. When directed at any person who died of unnatural causes or is dying for those same reasons as well, the Rod of Asclepius will cure them of all of their afflictions. However, the Rod can only be used once per person targeted. Once used, it cannot heal the same person ever again.


	3. A Man of Bronze, Part 1

**_A Man of Stone, Part 1_**

* * *

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You're 21."

"Yes."

"You used to be Artie's partner."

"Yes."

"As in, you two retrieved Artifacts before Pete and Myka."

"_Yes._"

"And you're not five gajillion years old?"

"… No? Didn't you just ask if I was 21?"

Claudia was still adjusting to the fact that some random person that they had sprung from the Bronze Sector was going to be her partner. The fact that this person used be Artie's partner didn't help things at all. After all, the last person who came from the Bronze Sector _and_ was Artie's former partner was McPherson. And that guy was _bad news_.

It didn't help that he had a very noticeable British accent. He might as well have been the love child of McPherson and H.G. Wells with all the flags he was throwing at Claudia. Okay, McPherson and H.G.? That was not a picture she needed in her head. H.G. was okay, but McPherson was as old as Artie and that was… _ewww_.

"So… Mrs. F says you were bronzed so that we could save you sometime later. What was that all about?"

Harry sighed. Things weren't going like he had expected when he had been bronzed. He had been hoping that Artie would find the right Artifact within a year at most. Then, he'd be back and they'd be hunting Artifacts as if nothing had happened. But he had instead been stuck as a bronze statue for eight years. Almost a decade had passed since he had been brought back to the world. Now, he was a figurative fish out of the water.

"It was a rookie mistake. One that you shouldn't have made given that you had four years of experience." Artie took Harry's silence as a cue to join the conversation. "You were lucky the Artifact didn't act any faster or you'd be dead."

"I know," Harry brushed his hand over his hair, "Don't chase after the crazy guy with the dangerous Artifact."

"Sometimes, working with Pete was like working with you all over again." Artie moved back toward his customary seat before the Warehouse computer, "No regards for the rules. There's a reason why we do things the way we do. In fact, you're the entire reason why the Regents raised the age barrier for Agents."

At this, Claudia had to give a potent glare at the new old Agent. "Really. You're the reason why Artie wouldn't let me go on field missions?"

Well, this partnership was definitely off to a rocky start.

* * *

Before she had left, Mrs. Frederic had indicated to Harry and Claudia that she had something else to discuss with them after she retrieved some information. Then, she disappeared. For both Harry and Claudia, this was nothing new. Mrs. Frederic seemed to have the mysterious ability to appear and disappear whenever she wanted and was least expected.

Harry had originally attributed this ability to Apparition, but there was no tell-tale crack or flicker of magical energy. In fact, he was about to start on his customary musing on how Mrs. Frederic seemed to be able to teleport before he got a meaningful look from Artie, who then gestured out towards the Warehouse.

Harry then went out the door, followed by Artie. Claudia had attempted to come with, but Artie had waved her off, mentioning that they were simply going on a simple tour since the Warehouse had changed a lot in eight years.

As they walked down the aisles, the silence was deafening. There was the occasional odd noise from one of the Artifacts, but words were not exchanged between the two. Finally, Harry had had enough.

"I'm sorry, you know." He felt it was appropriate to apologize. "Things might have been a lot more different if I had just followed the rules like you always tell me to."

"Honestly, it wouldn't have helped." Artie immediately shrugged it off. "The guy was about to get away with the Black Plague. You were right to chase after him like you did. Luckily, we managed to bronze you before you died."

"So, I heard you got a new team."

"Yeah, Pete and Myka. They're odd, but they've got some of the best teamwork I've ever seen." Artie actually seemed to glow with pride as he talked about the two. "Pete's kinda like you. He's got vibes, almost like your gut instinct."

"Does that mean that Myka has your rambling encyclopedic knowledge of everything that's ever happened on the face of the Earth?" Harry couldn't help but sneak in a jab at his former partner.

"Ha ha, very funny." Artie sported just the hint of a grin. "No, she's very rational. Her deductive reasoning is absolutely amazing. Their synergy is just something."

They continued walking in silence. After awhile, Harry just couldn't help but comment, "Eight years and you still haven't gotten the Regents to put up mesh screens? I'm a little disappointed, Art."

Artie chuckled, "I haven't heard that nickname in forever. The team just calls me Artie now. Well, except for Mrs. Frederic. She still calls me 'Arthur'."

"She doesn't count," snorted Harry, "She's older than you are."

"Ahem." Harry jumped as if someone had stepped on his tail. Both he and Artie faced the sound only to see Mrs. Frederic. As Harry attempted to calm his heart, which was beating a furious rate, Mrs. Frederic fixed him with a strong glare.

"If you are done with mindless gossip," Harry and Artie nodded furiously, "Then we have work to do. We've picked up a ping in the United Kingdom."

Harry released a breath that he didn't know he was holding. While he had known that he was returning to Warehouse duty, his mind still hadn't settled in that particular reality. After all, it had been trapped within an immobile statue for the good part of a decade. Was he really ready to be heading back into the field so soon?

Even more, he'd be heading back to England, the country he had fled from four years ago. Or was it twelve years? Either way, he was heading back. Despite how long it had been, Harry had learned one thing about his life: things were never simple when he was involved.

* * *

_Leeds, England_

The train sped away, roaring in the background as Harry and Claudia walked out of the railway station. Despite spending his formative years in the United Kingdom, Harry had spent little to no time in Leeds proper. While the Hogwarts Express clearly went through Leeds on its way from London to Hogwarts and back, it was hardly a proper tour of the city.

Claudia decided to go over the details of the case as they headed towards their destination.

"All right, we've got reports of an art theft in Leeds. Some guy just breaks through a foot of concrete and steel to get at a vault. In and out within five minutes."

"Sounds like an Artifact all right."

"Great deduction from the senior agent, that fact clearly escaped my notice."

Harry sighed. This had gone on for the last couple of hours or so, from the time they had left the Warehouse to now, Claudia had gone on and on about how Harry had been named the senior agent on the case. To be honest, Harry had little to no clue why was bothering her, but he had let it fly.

"In any case, let's just get to the museum. Maybe they'll have something for us."

"Again with the great ideas. They should make you senior agent. Oh wait, they did." If Claudia Donovan was known for anything, it was not subtlety. Harry had thought her biting sarcasm was funny at first, but enough was enough. Harry stopped in the middle of the street and put a hand on her shoulder as she walked past him.

"All right, that's enough," This needed to end here. Experience with Artie taught him that disagreements between partners could be deadly, especially on Warehouse business. "Claudia, you've been having my ear off for the last couple of hours about this senior agent business. Clearly, something's bothering you."

Claudia adopted a look of fake shock. "Oh, really? You could tell? As expected of—" She stopped abruptly as she saw the look on Harry's face. She shouldered her messenger bag and gestured in the air as she spoke, "It's—it's just that it's my first mission in the field without Artie or Pete or Myka, right?"

Harry nodded, partially as understanding and as a cue for her to continue.

"Well, I owe so much so much to them, you know? If it wasn't for Artie, I don't know where I'd be right now. When he took me in, made me his assistant at the Warehouse, he put a lot of trust in me." Claudia's voice began to break up as she continued. "Until then, I hadn't had someone trust me in a long time.

"So when Mrs. Frederic told me that I'd be getting my own mission, I just felt that was the next step. Artie put all this trust in me, and I thought that I could show him that it wasn't for nothing. That… that—"

"His trust wasn't misplaced and that he could be proud of you." Harry decided to finish for her, seeing that Claudia didn't look like she could continue. "And you felt that me being named senior agent instead of you meant that he didn't trust you enough."

At Claudia's nod, Harry continued. "Well, I think Artie is already proud of you. He sent you out here, didn't he? Knowing what I know about Artie, that means he's proud of you already. Artie doesn't do things by halves, you know that. He wouldn't send you out here by yourself unless he was absolutely sure about how you'd do."

Claudia sniffed and rubbed her eyes furiously. "I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm usually horrible with emotions, comes with being an institution girl." Claudia stiffened. "And now you know I used to be in an institution."

"Claudia, I used to go to St. Brutus' Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys. That doesn't scare me at all. And I'm pretty rubbish at emotions too, to be terribly honest." Harry snorted. It seemed that after all these years, one of the Dursleys' vile rumors would actually help him for once. "Looks like we've got more in common than we thought."

Hearing that, Claudia brightened up fairly quickly. "Well, since we're done with the icky stuff, how about we get back to the job? I think it's about time to bag it—"

Almost instinctively, Harry interrupted, "Tag it—"

Claudia and Harry paused, momentarily stunned upon realizing what they were doing, before finishing together with a laugh.

"And snag it!"

* * *

_Royal Armouries Museum, Leeds, England_

There was a hole in the wall. A foot of concrete and steel didn't seem like much when you heard about it, but seeing it in person was something entirely different. The authorities had cordoned off the area, but as Claudia and Harry gazed through the hole, they could see just how much damage the culprit had done.

One of the police officers walked up to the duo. "The security footage is ready for you and we can tell you what the thief stole as well."

As the officer walked Harry and Claudia towards a nearby security booth, he took the cap off his head and scratched the back of his head. "We're not exactly sure how the thief got in. We didn't find any trace of explosives and the wall doesn't show signs of drilling."

They arrived at the security booth and the guard present there proceeded to show them footage from the museum security cameras.

"At first, there's nothing. For the first five minutes before the break-in, the cameras don't pick up any movement either inside or outside the vault. Then…" The guard quickly hit a key. "Here. Part of the wall just caves in." The guard proceeded to press a few more keys. "Here's the footage from right outside the vault."

Harry could barely tell the details through the grainy security footage, but he took on a grim look as a figure slowly walked up to the vault wall. The figure paused for a second and the wall simply collapsed inward. The figure walked in, headed towards the far end of the vault, picked up a large _something_ and simply left out the new entrance. Harry started to wonder what could cause a twelve-inch thick wall of steel-reinforced concrete to break so easily.

The police officer cut into Harry's musings. "That thing he left with. It was going to part of a new exhibit. A new excavation dug up a part of the Walls of Babylon. I can't remember exactly what it was, but there was a design of some kind of a goat."

Harry nodded in response to the security guard and gestured for Claudia to join him in a secluded corner of the museum.

"Any idea what could've done that?"

Harry shrugged. "It could be any number of Artifacts. Ali Baba's scimitar could break through solid stone with a single swipe. To be honest, Art's better with Artifact knowledge than me."

Claudia nodded. "We might be able to get farther with what he stole. Any clue what that might be?"

Harry was stumped. Of the many famous walls of antiquity, the Walls of Babylon weren't one of the ones that he had committed to memory. Warehouse missions tended to immerse an agent in history, enough that most competent agents could moonlight as history teachers within two years or so. Harry himself knew of the Great Wall of China, the Walls of Jericho, and a few others but details about the Walls of Babylon escaped him.

Claudia pulled out the Farnsworth and flipped open the cover. Artie's face popped up on the minuscule screen.

"How's the investigation going?"

"We need you to look into something for us, Artie." Claudia said, "The thief stole a part of the Walls of Babylon, apparently a mural of some kind of goat."

Artie stared intently through the Farnsworth, his eyes tightening. "A goat? Are you sure it was a goat, not a lion or—or some kind of dragon?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, the guard said it was a goat or something."

Artie looked almost crushed. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he replied. "Then we have another problem on our hands. The Walls of Babylon were famous, the eighth and final gate in particular. Constructed by King Nebuchadnezzar II in 575 BC, the Walls were famous for being impassable. In fact, with the technology of that time, the Walls made Babylon impervious to any kind of attack.

"The Walls were so famous and monumental that the final gate, which was the biggest and most elaborate of them all, was one of the Seven Wonders of the World. The Ishtar Gate was decorated with glazed bricks depicting a procession of lions, dragons, and aurochs which were the goats the security guard mentioned. However, in the 6th century, the Walls were stricken from the Seven Wonders and replaced by the Lighthouse of Alexandria."

Claudia gave Harry a sideways glance. "Okay, that's cool and all, really appreciate the history lesson, but what exactly does the goat thingie do?"

"If you would just let me finish," Artie cut back in, exasperated. "if the _aurochs_ really was a part of the Ishtar Gate, then it would be an Artifact. As Babylon declined, the fame of the Walls disappeared into the mists of time—"

"Yeah, yeah, we don't need to hear about your childhood, Artie—"

"—AND certain parts of the Ishtar Gate were imbued with a certain _hatred_ for the other Seven Wonders, especially towards the Great Lighthouse. Ishtar, as you can, was a very very self-centered goddess. Each brick that makes up the aurochs is essentially an Artifact bomb. As long as they remain in close quarters to another Artifact, the bricks will charge with explosive energy, eventually detonating with the force of small briefcase nuclear bomb."

Harry's eyes widened. That didn't sound good at all. Harry already suspected that the thief broke into the vault with the help of an Artifact. If he stayed close to the aurochs, then it would only a matter of time before—

BOOM!

—something bad happened.

* * *

Author's Note:

Whew! Done with another chapter. This one took a lot longer than I thought it would. Between work, family trips, and tons of paperwork, I barely had time to work on my writing. For all of you prospective college students, I have a tip for you. Pick your college wisely. Transfer applications are a lot of paperwork, especially if you got credit through exams and such.

Another reason why this chapter took so long to come out was the fact that I was really overwhelmed with the response I got. At most I thought I would get a couple of views and maybe a follower or two. 1,381 views, 54 followers, and 31 favorites later, I realized that this little diversion of mine might be a bit better than I thought it would be. I had the basic formations of a plot in my head, but I took the last couple of weeks to flesh out exactly what I wanted to do.

I'm still nowhere near a distinct plot, but I'm a lot farther along than I was after Chapter 1. I have a plan on how to integrate the Potterverse in with the Warehouse-verse, although it might be a little messy. Some more time was spent on brainstorming Artifacts, which is harder than it sounds. There were quite a few Artifacts that had cool abilities and histories that I were interested in, but I had no idea how to integrate them in a story. On a related story note, Warehouse 13 fans will be able to tell at this point that Harry's taking the place of beloved character Steve Jinks. Unfortunately, I felt like I had to do this because I don't believe I'm skilled enough to juggle several characters. If you liked Jinksie, I sincerely apologize and hope you will continue reading.

I'd like to both thank and blame Sid Meier's Civilization V for this chapter. I had gone without Internet for a lengthy period of time during the writing of this chapter and the Civilopedia provided much of the inspiration and information I needed for this chapter's Artifacts and a few of the ones you'll see in the future. However, I did spend a lot of time that I had planned for writing on playing the new expansion, Gods and Kings, after I got enough money to buy it.

P.S. I've gone back and edited my previous chapter, namely giving them titles. Also, I noticed an error with the Rod of Asclepius. The object I described is actually a caduceus, the emblem of Hermes. The proper Rod of Asclepius has only one snake, not two.

* * *

Artifact List:

**Aurochs from the Ishtar Gate:**

The aurochs is a Eurasian ox believed to be the ancestor of the modern domestic cattle. It was one of the animals emblazoned on the Ishtar Gate along with lions and dragons. The Ishtar Gate was itself part of the Walls of Babylon. Erected by King Nebuchadnezzar II, perhaps the most famous of the Babylonian kings, the Walls served as an integral part of the ancient city's defenses. The Ishtar Gate, and the Walls by proxy, were of such renown that, until the 6th century AD, it was one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

Estimated to be 14 meters high and 30 meters wide, the Ishtar Gate stood proudest among the eight gates of the Walls of Babylon. At this period in time, weapons technology was fairly low-key and the Walls were impenetrable to any army that sought access. However, Babylon fell to Cyrus the Great in 539 BC at the Battle of Opis, when the Persian king diverted the great river Euphrates which ran through the city. With the water level lowered, the Persian marched under the Walls and conquered the city with most of its inhabitants unaware.

The aurochs on the Gate was composed of glazed bricks, each filled with the great resentment that came with being ousted from the Seven Wonders. Proximity to any Artifact causes a brick to gather energy, eventually reaching a resonating point and exploding. Proximity to any Artifact from the Seven Wonders speeds up this process.


	4. A Man of Bronze, Part 2

"So that was when you heard the explosion?"

Harry sighed, "For the fifth time, Artie, yes!" After reporting back to the Warehouse, Artie had hounded them for hours about the details leading up to the explosion. "We heard it clear across town. When we made it to the scene, the police and fire departments were already there.

"It was an abandoned warehouse in the industrial district. The place was leveled, not a brick standing. Good thing, the warehouse was empty so there weren't any injuries. In fact, there wasn't anybody within a block of the explosion."

In Harry's opinion, that was a major coup. The fewer injuries resulting from the Artifact retrieval, the better. Warehouse operations already a reputation for collateral damage. The fact that an explosion that took out an entire warehouse, but didn't harm a single person was definitely a plus in his book. Artie, on the other hand...

"We've lost a lot of ground, the entire case might be a wash at this point." Through the small screen of the Farnsworth, Claudia and Harry could see Artie wipe his forehead in frustration, "Any evidence we could get from the scene has most likely been destroyed or contaminated by the police. And whoever stole the Artifact is definitely going to go to ground after this." Artie leaned in, his face magnified and distorted on the screen of the Farnsworth. "Luckily, what we do have more than makes up for what we lost."

Claudia rolled her eyes, "You know, you could just let us know you figured something out," she spoke in an exasperated manner, "You drag things out like a soap opera."

Artie recoiled as if struck, "Well, you didn't have to put it like that. In any case, I noted when the theft was reported and, with the time of the explosion, I've narrowed down the list of Artifacts that could have been used in the robbery." At Claudia's pronounced sigh, Artie continued, "Given how quickly the Ishtar Gate released its energy after being stolen, we have to assume that we're dealing with one of the Seven Wonders."

Harry perked up at that comment. During his partnership with Artie back during the '90s, the man had mentioned the Seven Wonders in passing. He had never said much other than that the group of Artifacts were exceedingly dangerous and carefully monitored by the Warehouse, even more so than most Artifacts. Harry knew what he knew by piecing together bits and pieces of what Artie said over the years.

"Are you sure, Artie?" Harry had to question. If Artie was right... "You know what that means, right?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Claudia could only look on in bemusement as Artie and Harry simultaneously ran their hands through their hair. Clearly, the Seven Wonders were a big deal. Of course, the two doofuses wouldn't tell her anything. "Sorry to break up the monthly meeting your old man's club, but you mind telling everyone who's not either a mind reader what's so special about the Seven Wonders?" With a quick thought, she added, "Other than the obvious?"

To Claudia's surprise, it was Harry that answered, not the all-knowing Artie. "You know how Artifacts tend to come from famous people?" At Claudia's nod, he continued, "The earliest Artifacts didn't follow this trend. The Hammer of Enmerkar, the Chains of Enkidu, the Minoan Trident, etcetera. These Artifacts had powers that made their users famous. The Seven Wonders were the first of their kind, the type of Artifact that you're well acquainted with.

"The Seven Wonders were originally constructed by humans, mundane in every manner except for the beauty of their construction. Through the passage of time, as the Seven Wonders grew famous and known throughout the ancient world, they grew in strength and weird things began happening around them.

"The Warehouse was clearly confused. Up until then, Artifacts had always been Artifacts. There wasn't a case where something normal became an Artifact. So, the Warehouse collected them and began to experiment on them, to find out what turned them into Artifacts. Experimentation didn't reveal much, but the Seven Wonders began to display signs of mutation. Rather than having a single set ability, they began to change depending on who used them. That's what makes them dangerous. Every time you go up against one of the Seven Wonders, you won't know what it can do. And knowledge is everything when it comes to dealing with Artifacts."

Artie sat in stunned silence, with only the faint static of the Farnsworth giving any sign that he was still there. Claudia's mouth was wide open, her jaw slack in disbelief. Harry was taken aback at their reactions. "What?" he exclaimed, "I pay attention to what you say sometimes, Artie. Kinda hard to listen to you drone on without some of it sticking."

Come to think of it, his spiel brought something to light. It was true that knowledge was key in completing, and sometimes just surviving, Warehouse missions. Knowing which Artifact you were dealing with often spelled the difference between success and death. God knows what would have happened to him and Artie if they had remembered the Medusa's weakness to reflective surfaces.

"-someone pays attention to what I say." Evidently, Artie had recovered from his stupor, "Knowing your Artifacts is everything! In fact, Harry and I were chasing down an Artifact that could turn people to stone..." And it seemed strange minds think alike.

Quickly catching on that Artie was about to launch into another one of his long winded stories, Claudia cut him off before he could begin, "So where does that leave us? There's an Artifact out there with weirdo powers. Sounds like what we face every week. Just so happens that this one does all sorts of weird things like some kind of Artifact Superman."

"Well, we-" Artie was interrupted before he could reply.

"By the way, is there an Artifact with some bogus power like superweaving or superdickery?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "While I'm not entirely sure that that last one really counts as a superpower, there was this shawl we found in Athens..."

"Excuse me," Harry was in turn interrupted by Artie, who clearly wanted the train of their conversation steered back on course. "As I was saying, narrowing down the list of Artifacts helps us identify it. While their powers mutate, the Seven Wonders tend to keep within a theme and their forms have yet to change. Given that three of the Seven Wonders are currently in Warehouse possession, we're down to a list of four possible candidates."

"Wait, we only have three of them?" Claudia exclaimed, "If these are super-freaky Artifacts from the beginning of time, shouldn't we have all of them?"

"The Seven Wonders are more volatile than most Artifacts and have a tendency of disappearing from the Warehouse without cause or notice." Artie replied, "The best we can do is retrieve them as soon as we realize they're missing. As I was saying, there's four possible candidates.

"There's the headpiece from the staff of Zeus at Olympia. It's done everything from flight to weather control. Tricky little bugger, it usually escapes within the year every time we secure it. Most likely, it's not what we're looking for. None of the recorded powers can do anything close to what happened to the vault door.

"It could be the Artifact from the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, but there's not much I can give you about that one. It's... strange, all the records are pretty detailed, but there's next to nothing on this one. Not even a description of its appearance.

"The most likely Artifact would be the bronze finger from the Colossus of Rhodes. It's about the size of your head, pure bronze. Records say that the Artifact can grant water-walking, invulnerability, or get this, super-strength."

Harry's eyes widened. The security video of the destruction of the vault door suddenly made much more sense.

"What about the last one? Didn't you say that four of the Wonders aren't in the Warehouse?" Claudia, on the other hand, wasn't convinced. Smart, as there was no way of telling which Artifact they were actually after.

"The last one is a pouch of dirt from the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. I'd say this one's the clincher since it can disintegrate stone and affect plant growth, except for one thing. Out of all the Artifacts in the world, the dirt from the Hanging Gardens actually makes the Ishtar Gate inert. No reaction at all, probably because they're both Babylonian. By all means, keep an eye out, but it's probably not our MacGuffin."

Then, there was a pregnant pause as Claudia and Harry stood there, alternating glances at each other and the Farnsworth. Artie stared blankly out of the screen of the Farnsworth before breaking the silence, "Well, what are you waiting for? Go -"

"Snag it, bag it, tag it. Gotcha, Artie." Sometimes, it seemed Claudia waited for Artie to speak just so she could interrupt him.

* * *

Despite Artie's words, Claudia and Harry had no idea where to start looking for the Artifact. Or rather, Claudia had no idea where to start looking. Harry directed her towards investigating the museum while he went off to investigate the wreckage of the warehouse.

The place looked like a disaster zone. That was a fairly accurate description, considering that the warehouse had been blown to kingdom come by the detonation of the Ishtar Gate. Rescue crews had been working non-stop over the past couple of hours, clearing rubbish and collapsed walls in hopes of saving trapped victims. Luckily, the place was vacant and the crews had all but cleared out by now. However, there were still a few individuals wandering about the ruins. And, unfortunately for Harry, he needed to work in private.

He reached into his coat, searching for something. Even when in Warehouse containment, some Artifacts had the tendency to... wander. Especially powerful Artifacts, like the Seven Wonders had the strangest ability to outright disappear from the Warehouse, seemingly under their own power. Luckily for him, the Artifact he was looking for was rather clingy and had been easily found after his de-bronzing.

Harry muttered a few words under his breath and a Notice-Me-Not and a Muggle-Repelling Charm sprang up around him. Anyone looking at him instantly turned away, their minds filled with other problems. Harry gave his surroundings another once-over before properly pulling the Elder Wand from its place inside his coat. Normally, Harry refused to use the most bloody of the three Hallows out of principle. Then again, he rarely performed magic since joining the Warehouse. In any case, almost any magic he could conceive of performing, he could accomplish with his phoenix-feather wand. Except for this, of course.

He waved the wand through the air, whispering unintelligibly under his breath as he did so. Faint glyphs rose out nowhere and faded just quickly, and a runic circle appeared around his feet. The wind picked up and ruffled his hair. A feeling of oppressive power clung to the air as Harry spoke, the words having a deep timbre despite being whispered.

"Point Me, Colossus of Rhodes."

Typically, this wouldn't have worked. He had shattered his phoenix-feather wand the first time he tried it, though he quickly used the Elder Wand to repair it once again. Despite the fact that it was a powerful magical conduit, Harry's original wand wasn't equipped to deal with Artifacts. The Elder Wand, on the hand, was one of those aforementioned Artifacts and, although not built to do so, could channel Artifact energy. Even then, the Four-Points spell was finicky when it came to locating Artifacts. Over several trials and failures, Harry had determined what he believed to be the right circumstances. And luckily for him, each and every one was satisfied in his search for the Colossus of Rhodes.

Firstly, he needed to know specifics about the Artifact. The Warehouse had come in handy here as there was copious amounts of research on the Seven Wonders. Secondly, he needed to be in a place where the Artifact was recently. The explosion at the warehouse had signified that the Colossus of Rhodes had most definitely been there within the past couple of hours. And lastly, he needed a sample of the particular energy of the Artifact in question. He fingered a bit of the debris from the vault door at the museum. Truly, he had gotten lucky on this case.

The Elder Wand twitched in the palm of his hand and span rapidly before slowing down to a stop. The tip glowed gold as a faint white line appeared at his feet, trailing off into the distance. Well, it looked like he had some tracking to do.

* * *

"How do you know the Artifact is here?"

Of course, Claudia had to get a little suspicious. They both knew that the warehouse ruins were most likely a dead end, so when Harry had reported a lead, he knew Claudia wouldn't be entirely trusting.

"Just trust me, okay? I'm going to jimmy the lock open, so cover me with the Tesla."

Harry inched up to the door. He had tracked the Colossus of Rhodes, or at least the finger that was left over, to this apartment. If everything went smoothly, they'd be on a plane back to America before night fell. He fiddled with his Warehouse-issue lockpicking set (read: several bobby pins that Artie had left him) and the lock sprang open. As he began turning the knob, he reached into his coat again. Since Claudia was with him, it wasn't a good time for wand-waving. Fortunately, he had remembered to pack a few other things.

Opening the door as silently as possible, Harry rolled into the apartment, brandishing what seemed to be a small metal pipe. He waved it about the apartment as his eyes swept over the area, looking for opponents. Finding nobody, he put it back in his coat as Claudia entered behind him.

"Nice entry. Was that entirely necessary or did you just want to look cool?"

Blushing slightly at her comment, Harry replied as if he didn't hear her. "This room's clear. Let's sweep the place for the Artifact."

Claudia nodded and walked towards one of the branching hallways. A tinkling noise sounded from the other hallway, and Claudia and Harry froze. Snapping out of his stupor, Harry instantly ran towards the hallway and saw a figure trying to fit through a window. Thinking quickly, he reached back into his coat and pulled out the metal pipe. Harry pointed the pipe at the man and gave it a sharp clockwise twist. The man barely had time to give out a yelp of surprise before he was pulled from the window by some unseen force towards Harry. The two men collided, sending both tumbling to the ground. Unfortunately for Harry, the thief recovered first, sprang to his feet and kicked Harry as he was lying on the floor.

Harry's breath was driven from his lungs as the man's foot struck his midriff. The thief must have had the finger in his possession because Harry skidded towards the opposite wall, stars blooming across his vision as he crashed into the wall. Claudia sprang up in front of him, Tesla at the ready before the man took two steps and backhanded her to the ground. He stared down at the two of them before running out the apartment door.

Claudia recovered first and rushed over to check on Harry. He waved her off as he struggled to his feet. The two took off through the door, intent on chasing the running thief.

* * *

They followed him through streets of heavy traffic, although the presence of cars and pedestrians thinned as they neared the warehouse district. Harry turned a corner and saw a flash of cloth disappear into the nearest alley. Motioning to Claudia, Harry reached into his coat and drew the metal pipe again.

"That thing again?" Claudia gave the pipe a dubious look. "It didn't really work out the last time you tried."

Harry sighed, "Give me a break, I'm a little rusty. This thing's worked out fine in the past."

He rounded the corner and barely reacted in time to duck into a crouch under an incoming punch. In his position, Harry quickly leveled the pipe at the thief and twisted the pipe counter-clockwise.

Suddenly, the man went flying backwards as if a giant invisible hook grabbed him by the back of his shirt. He collided with a brick wall and dropped to the ground, unmoving. Harry edged closer, his pipe trained on the still body. As he moved to flip the man over to look for the Artifact, the thief blurred into motion and swept Harry's feet out from under him. The man proceeded to get to his knees, his right fist reared back for a punch. Harry squinted, his face scrunched as he anticipated the hit. Then, there was a sound of static and blue sparks arced over the thief's body before he was thrown back into the wall.

"Forgot about me, buddy." Claudia quipped as she raised the Tesla to her mouth and blew imaginary smoke from the barrel. She lent a hand to Harry, who grabbed it and climbed back to his feet.

"Thanks for the save." Harry gasped, still recovering from his second knockdown of the day.

"No problem," replied Claudia. "It's what partners do, right?"

The thief sprang back to his feet, only to freeze as he faced both the business end of Claudia's Tesla and Harry's pipe. He moved as if to take a step forward only to look bemusedly at his foot. A look of terror spread over his face as his foot slowed gained a yellow-orange hue, its metallic sheen glinting in the sunlight.

A look of realization dawned on Harry's face. "Artifact recoil," he muttered. "Prolonged use turns you to bronze." As the man turned to him, a begging look in his eyes, Harry stated. "We can help but you need to tell us where you put the Ishtar Gate."

"The what?" The thief replied.

"The aurochs?" Harry clarified. The bronzing had already reached the man's knees when Claudia cut in, "The goat?"

Frantic words poured out of the man's mouth, "I dunno! Some man hired me to steal it! He just gave me this bloody thing," he reached down his shirt to reveal the bronze finger hung on a necklace, "an' said the rest would come to me. I just needed a bit of cash is all! I didn't expect to hurt nobody! In an' out, that's all, he promised. I dropped the thing off at the warehouse, only walked five feet away 'fore the thing exploded!"

He ripped the makeshift amulet from his neck and forced it into Harry's hands as the bronze reached his neck. "Next thing I know, I'm in my apartment with the cash on the table. I turn on the telly an' there's the explosion on the news! I didn't do it on purpose, honest to God! He-" The thief was cut off as the recoil from the Colossus of Rhodes took its course, leaving the man a metal sculpture.

Harry could barely hear the footsteps behind him as he looked at the statue. The man had his face frozen, mouth open in mid-sentence, the fear and horror etched in his expression. Judging from the thief's frantic confession, here was a man caught up in another's plan. A man who didn't understand the power of the item he was given nor the terrible cost it would, and did, incur.

"Well," Claudia's voice was soft, almost a whisper. "Damn."

Damn, indeed. It was going to be hell to explain this to Artie.

* * *

Author's Note:

Well, here's another chapter in my increasingly badly-written fanfiction. It's some time since my last chapter, several months in fact. The delay was compounded by my paralyzation over the plot, lack of a beta, and crippling lack of self-esteem. That and I really suck at writing. There's a reason why I'm majoring in Computer Science. Well enough about the pity party, let's move on.

As for any discussion about a release schedule, be glad that I'm releasing at all. I had this chapter in its current form for about two weeks before I decided to release it as is. I'm terribly self-conscious about my writing, but not nearly good enough to beta my own work. It doesn't help that my muse, or whatever I have that attempts to pass for a muse, appears to have some form of attention-deficit disorder. I've already written a chapter for another work just to get it out of my head and finishing this chapter already has me plagued with ideas for Avengers crossovers. I would like to ask for betas so I can have someone to bounce ideas off of and maybe keep me on track.

Discussing the writing itself, I'm at a bit of a quandary. Do I refer to Artie as "Artie" or "Arthur" outside of dialogue? "Artie" sounds rather personal, but it feels ingrained after watching the show. "Arthur" provides the right amount of distance for the point-of-view that I'm trying to go for, but it just feels wrong considering how almost every character refers to him as "Artie".

In terms of this chapter and its relation to the plot, we have our first plot thread. Someone is supplying people with Artifacts, namely to get their hands on other Artifacts. Will this tie into an underlying plot or will it just be some kind of plot hole that I'll forget about in two chapters? Eh, we'll see. I have an idea of where I want the story to go and this plot point may or may not figure into it.

We also see Harry's first use of magic. I gave in pretty quick, huh? Not even five chapters in and we're already breaking out the big guns. Eh, not really. As I mentioned, tracking Artifacts with the Elder Wand is iffy at best. It requires a lot of data, most of which wouldn't be available until the climax of a Warehouse operation, at which point it's moot. I realized that spell-slinging willy-nilly, especially usage of the Four-Points spell would be broken beyond belief. If Harry could just "Point Me Insert Random Artifact Here", we might as well not have a Warehouse team. I'll do my best not to have Harry track down another Artifact in this manner. I should probably read some more detective novels as research...

* * *

Artifact List

**The Hammer of Enmerkar:**

One of the first Artifacts, if not the first. The stone hammer was wielded by the powerful Sumerian king, Enmerkar, who used it to construct the ancient city of Uruk. Simply slamming the hammer against the ground would cause buildings of stone and clay to rise out of the ground, allowing Enmerkar to construct his legendary city within the span of a single night.

**The Chains of Enkidu: **

A set of bronze chains connected to a pair of manacles, they were said to have been worn by the great beast Enkidu upon his descent to Earth. Enkidu was a beast-man, created by the Sumerian gods to humble the king Gilgamesh. Eventually humanized through interaction with civilization, Enkidu's journey culminates in a wrestling match with Gilgamesh, which neither company wins. Their battle makes them fast friends, the two becoming inseparable until their fateful tangle with the Bull of Heaven. For their defiance of the gods, Enkidu was struck with sickness and died. Gilgamesh, horrified at the death of his friend and at his own mortality, begins his legendary quest for immortality, which enumerated in _The Epic of Gilgamesh_. While the legitimacy of their origin is disputed, the chains hold the ability of being able to bind anything that they hold, rendering them incapable of movement.

**The Minoan Trident: **

The first Artifact collected by the Warehouse, whose use prompted the founding of the esoteric organization. While the Minoan Trident wasn't the first Artifact to be discovered, its capabilities for mass destruction quickly established the notion that Artifacts weren't meant to be trusted in human hands so readily. Its use during Mycenaean-Minoan War spelled the end of the Minoan civilization. The Trident has the ability to create and magnify geological disturbances, such as fissures, which result in catastrophic geological events. It is believed that the eruption of Thera was caused by the Minoan Trident.

**Medusa's Bust: **

Carved out of marble in Ancient Greece, this bust depicts a beautiful woman whose hair is composed of several snakes, all in striking position. Making eye contact with the bust can turn a victim to stone within minutes. According some Greek legends, Medusa was a beautiful maiden, so beautiful that Poseidon caught and raped her in one of Athena's temples. Athena caught them and, enraged, transformed Medusa and her sisters into Gorgons, hideous snake-haired creatures whose visage turned onlookers into stone.

**The Seven Wonders of the World: **

The Seven Wonders were marvels of human engineering, constructed by hand and through mundane labor. The magnificence of their construction inspired civilizations and their longevity turned to fame. Through the years, the Seven Wonders began to acquire strange and mysterious powers. The Warehouse, formerly relegated to simple collection of Artifacts, instantly understood the dangers of these new Artifacts. If through the Seven Wonders, man discovered how to make Artifacts, it would be impossible to keep them out of irresponsible hands. Through clever manipulation and outright sabotage, the Warehouse destroyed six of the seven Wonders, retrieving the bits and pieces of each that remained Artifacts.

**The Colossus of Rhodes: **

The Colossus was a massive bronze statue of the Titan Helios, situated at the mouth of the harbor of the island of Rhodes. Originally constructed to celebrate the victory of Rhodes and Egypt over their common enemy of Cyprus, the Colossus towered over the entrance to the harbor and became a famed symbol of the island. The Colossus collapsed in 226 BC due to an earthquake, and the Warehouse managed to retrieve a sole bronze finger.

**The Elder Wand:**

Alternately known as the Wand of Destiny or the Deathstick, it is a wand made of elder wood with the core of a thestral tail-hair. Magic performed with the Elder Wand is powerful, often far beyond the capabilities of other wands. Due to its unique status as an Artifact, the Elder Wand is also capable of manipulating Artifact energy, allowing it to produce effects on Artifacts when normal wands would be incapable of doing so. However, the Elder Wand is notoriously fickle, often changing masters at the slightest hint of defeat, and the power it grants often corrupts its wielders.

**Faraday's Pipe:**

Michael Faraday was a famed British scientist, renowned for his breakthroughs in the fields of electromagnetism and electrochemistry. Faraday had only the most basic of educations before he was apprenticed to a bookbinder and bookseller. During his apprenticeship, Faraday read many books and developed a keen interest in the field of science. Near the end of his apprenticeship, Faraday attended many lectures at the Royal Society, eventually sending a book of notes he had made to one of the lecturers. Impressed, the lecturer took Faraday as a secretary and he eventually became an assistant. He moved up through the ranks of scientists and the rest, as they say, is history. The pipe itself holds some semblance of the magnetic powers, able to attract or repel an object based on how the pipe is twisted.


End file.
